Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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