it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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