We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
