so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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