just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
