Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
