I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
