he thought i was a dude.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
