I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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