get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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