how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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