Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
