we're blogging at a bar
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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