one might say we're banned from that church
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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