the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
