Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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