69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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