Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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