I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
