So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
