Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
