hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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