Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I understand Curling. That high.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
