I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
