I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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