Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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