i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
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i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
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I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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