Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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