OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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