i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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