You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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