Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
