She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
