I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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