i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
