It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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