Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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