cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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