You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
