he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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