but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
