Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
