I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
