i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
