if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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