Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
