Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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