I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
