Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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