Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
