I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize