As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
