i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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