i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she pinky promised me she was 18
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
