there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
