im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
