just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I love you. Go after that dick
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
