3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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