Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
