Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
