Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
