You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
