her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i think i just lost a toe
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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